Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Throughout our life we have always found ourselves in a position whereby we wanted something so badly but never got it. Im sure at that point we would be filled with disappointment, frustration and all kind of negative energies. Let a few years fly by and have you reflected at yourself and ponder was it for best you did not get it that time. 

Today I am going to tell you a little story about myself. A story which revolves on the question I raised above. In my life there are many things which I had wanted so badly but I did not get it at that moment and some I manage to get it in years to come while some just never seem to happen. This story is about one of such moment which had made a big difference in my life today and shape me into the person I am today. This is a story of a boy who wanted something so desperately once, failed to get it, life brought him away of it and gave him it at a moment when he least expect it

When I was 17, I was asked this question as I am sure many of you would have been asked as well.  

" So Sukesh, what do you want to do after SPM, where do you want to go and study". 

It a question that followed me everywhere I went. Lucky for me I found myself to be unlike most 17 year old now days. I had a dream, an ambition and a plan to achieve it. I had my answer prepared and I kept repeating it like a holy mantra.  

"Uncle/Aunty, I want to be a chemical engineer and I want to go to UTP and study". 

Yes right from the age of 16/17 I already knew what I wanted to be and I was firm to my dreams. That was my strength, I had a vision filled with passion. And my flaw? I never had a plan B. It never crossed my mind what will I do if I fail to get into UTP. I would not blame myself for it as I will still very raw mentally at the age of 17.

As you can expect, with my SPM results I never stood the slightest chance to even enter UTP. Without having a Plan B, I was literary lost at where will I pursue my education. It was also the time where I started to understand the financial plights of a middle class family and have to accept the fact that my dad is not going to be able to fork out money to send me to some expensive university. I was faced with the harsh reality that in life you always need to have alternative plans. Eventually over a number of years I managed to force my way through to be a UTP student. I will credit "The Secret" and its "Law of Attraction" and the sole reason why I managed to be here today.

This post will now move in a comparing manner. A comparison of what I believe how my life would have pan out to be if I were to enter UTP at the age of 18 and graduated at the age of 23 (Path 1) and how my life currently is moving an UTP student entering at the age of 21 and graduating at 25 (Path 2). I would compare a few aspects hoping in the process I do not offend anybody. My sincere apologies if any of my thoughts would have hurt anyone reading it.

Factor Number 1: Examination Results

Path 1: I would be pretty much be scoring my pointer as like how I was doing in my diploma. Keeping it at a range of 2.5-2.8. The fact that at the age of 18 I am finally away from home, being in a place where my activities can't be monitored by home, I would tend to misuse the "freedom" I attain. Being at home where I am not allowed to come back late (at the age of 18 I have to be back home by 12 midnight latest), and now here I can do anything I want knowing my parents wont know, I am sure I will abuse that luxury. Another reason would be the fact that I would not appreciate the meaning of being in UTP and the lack of gratitude since it came easy to me would only result in a lack of drive to do well. Believing all I need to do is just pass and ensure my PTPTN comes in and believing life would be perfect.

Path 2: Today at present I have thus far managed to maintain of what I believe by my own standards and capabilities and excellent pointer score. It was something I would not have even believed a couple of years ago. This comes down to the fact that at this age, I no longer abuse that freedom. I dont have the urge to go out and hang out everyday and have fun. Today a fun thing for me would be being in the room and having a mature conversation with my roommate. I still do go out late night but have manage to bring a better balance to things. A better awareness on knowing what to do when to do. And also mainly because I had to go through a hard long path before finally able to say I am an UTP student. The level of thankfulness and gratitude is so high which keeps the drive in me going to do well. Finally I see this as a route of redemption for myself for being someone who was once said would be a failure and should change course. I see it as a personal challenge now to show I am better than that

Factor Number 2: Friends

Path 1: At the point of life, I would be very much eager to make lots of new friends and hanging out alot. Knowing myself, I know its something I would do. Be part of a big group of friends, hang out together let it be dinner or movies or sports. I would be looking for reasons to go out and hangout. I would want to be accepted and acknowledge in the dynamics of the group. Because that is what would seem cool at that point of age. I know I would often act out of my skin to be accepted into as one of the fun guys in the group. In conclusion I would pay more attention on trying to be accepted rather than building close bonds with just a couple of people

Path 2: At present I don't really have large number of friends, Just a few fine one's which I know I can level on speak. I learned that having friends is not about quantity but quality. Its common when you see a group of foundation students they would be in a group of 10-15 friends and fast forward a few years later you will see that group of friends branch out to smaller groups of 2-3 people. Because its something over time you learn. Thankfully enough it was something I learned before I enter UTP and that's why I have always found my self very comfortable hanging out with 1 or 2 people. I have been lucky enough to have got 3 excellent roommate who are very different types of people but I am able to have and excellent bond with them. But I have to admit at times I do miss the fun of hanging out in large group too. It is still a part of me I need to discover.

Factor Number 3: STATS CHARGER

Path 1: Honestly speaking, if I was in UTP at this point of life I would never have done this project. Neither will I have even got the thought of doing something like that

Path 2: Well we all know the story of that, no point going through that again

Factor 4: Mental Maturity Among Peers

Path 1: It would be much easier to mingle around with people as everyone would be around my age. My classmates will be as same age as me. It is always easier to build friendship when you are equal to your peers

Path 2:  It has been a huge challenge. Especially at this point when I am like the oldest degree student in the university. Everyone you know is younger to you by like 2 to 3 years at least. And there will be a difference in the level of maturity between myself and them. The challenge is I have to adapt myself to a younger group mentally in order to blend in . The way they think, they do things and carry themselves will be very different than how I would want to be. Fun for them will be different for me. Yet crossing all this I have to find a way for myself to adapt into such culture. It has been a fantastic experience whereby it thought me that now I am someone who is capable to hangout with someone 5-6 years  younger to me and have a conversation of equals and also up myself and see myself as equal if I were to be in conversation with someone 10-15 years elder. It has gave me that flexibility today.

In conclusion what I wanted to express today that sometimes in life it is good your are denied something in life at that point because it was best for you on the long run. We should learn to be positive when we don't get something we want in life. Because positive thoughts attracts positive outcome. If you are denied something today, always believed you are on your path to something greatness. One of the best thing that has happened in my life was to be rejected by UTP at the age of 18 and to be accepted into UTP at the age of 21.

Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. 

Once again my deepest apologies if any part of my post today may have hurt you. Thank you for reading