Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Throughout our life we have always found ourselves in a position whereby we wanted something so badly but never got it. Im sure at that point we would be filled with disappointment, frustration and all kind of negative energies. Let a few years fly by and have you reflected at yourself and ponder was it for best you did not get it that time. 

Today I am going to tell you a little story about myself. A story which revolves on the question I raised above. In my life there are many things which I had wanted so badly but I did not get it at that moment and some I manage to get it in years to come while some just never seem to happen. This story is about one of such moment which had made a big difference in my life today and shape me into the person I am today. This is a story of a boy who wanted something so desperately once, failed to get it, life brought him away of it and gave him it at a moment when he least expect it

When I was 17, I was asked this question as I am sure many of you would have been asked as well.  

" So Sukesh, what do you want to do after SPM, where do you want to go and study". 

It a question that followed me everywhere I went. Lucky for me I found myself to be unlike most 17 year old now days. I had a dream, an ambition and a plan to achieve it. I had my answer prepared and I kept repeating it like a holy mantra.  

"Uncle/Aunty, I want to be a chemical engineer and I want to go to UTP and study". 

Yes right from the age of 16/17 I already knew what I wanted to be and I was firm to my dreams. That was my strength, I had a vision filled with passion. And my flaw? I never had a plan B. It never crossed my mind what will I do if I fail to get into UTP. I would not blame myself for it as I will still very raw mentally at the age of 17.

As you can expect, with my SPM results I never stood the slightest chance to even enter UTP. Without having a Plan B, I was literary lost at where will I pursue my education. It was also the time where I started to understand the financial plights of a middle class family and have to accept the fact that my dad is not going to be able to fork out money to send me to some expensive university. I was faced with the harsh reality that in life you always need to have alternative plans. Eventually over a number of years I managed to force my way through to be a UTP student. I will credit "The Secret" and its "Law of Attraction" and the sole reason why I managed to be here today.

This post will now move in a comparing manner. A comparison of what I believe how my life would have pan out to be if I were to enter UTP at the age of 18 and graduated at the age of 23 (Path 1) and how my life currently is moving an UTP student entering at the age of 21 and graduating at 25 (Path 2). I would compare a few aspects hoping in the process I do not offend anybody. My sincere apologies if any of my thoughts would have hurt anyone reading it.

Factor Number 1: Examination Results

Path 1: I would be pretty much be scoring my pointer as like how I was doing in my diploma. Keeping it at a range of 2.5-2.8. The fact that at the age of 18 I am finally away from home, being in a place where my activities can't be monitored by home, I would tend to misuse the "freedom" I attain. Being at home where I am not allowed to come back late (at the age of 18 I have to be back home by 12 midnight latest), and now here I can do anything I want knowing my parents wont know, I am sure I will abuse that luxury. Another reason would be the fact that I would not appreciate the meaning of being in UTP and the lack of gratitude since it came easy to me would only result in a lack of drive to do well. Believing all I need to do is just pass and ensure my PTPTN comes in and believing life would be perfect.

Path 2: Today at present I have thus far managed to maintain of what I believe by my own standards and capabilities and excellent pointer score. It was something I would not have even believed a couple of years ago. This comes down to the fact that at this age, I no longer abuse that freedom. I dont have the urge to go out and hang out everyday and have fun. Today a fun thing for me would be being in the room and having a mature conversation with my roommate. I still do go out late night but have manage to bring a better balance to things. A better awareness on knowing what to do when to do. And also mainly because I had to go through a hard long path before finally able to say I am an UTP student. The level of thankfulness and gratitude is so high which keeps the drive in me going to do well. Finally I see this as a route of redemption for myself for being someone who was once said would be a failure and should change course. I see it as a personal challenge now to show I am better than that

Factor Number 2: Friends

Path 1: At the point of life, I would be very much eager to make lots of new friends and hanging out alot. Knowing myself, I know its something I would do. Be part of a big group of friends, hang out together let it be dinner or movies or sports. I would be looking for reasons to go out and hangout. I would want to be accepted and acknowledge in the dynamics of the group. Because that is what would seem cool at that point of age. I know I would often act out of my skin to be accepted into as one of the fun guys in the group. In conclusion I would pay more attention on trying to be accepted rather than building close bonds with just a couple of people

Path 2: At present I don't really have large number of friends, Just a few fine one's which I know I can level on speak. I learned that having friends is not about quantity but quality. Its common when you see a group of foundation students they would be in a group of 10-15 friends and fast forward a few years later you will see that group of friends branch out to smaller groups of 2-3 people. Because its something over time you learn. Thankfully enough it was something I learned before I enter UTP and that's why I have always found my self very comfortable hanging out with 1 or 2 people. I have been lucky enough to have got 3 excellent roommate who are very different types of people but I am able to have and excellent bond with them. But I have to admit at times I do miss the fun of hanging out in large group too. It is still a part of me I need to discover.

Factor Number 3: STATS CHARGER

Path 1: Honestly speaking, if I was in UTP at this point of life I would never have done this project. Neither will I have even got the thought of doing something like that

Path 2: Well we all know the story of that, no point going through that again

Factor 4: Mental Maturity Among Peers

Path 1: It would be much easier to mingle around with people as everyone would be around my age. My classmates will be as same age as me. It is always easier to build friendship when you are equal to your peers

Path 2:  It has been a huge challenge. Especially at this point when I am like the oldest degree student in the university. Everyone you know is younger to you by like 2 to 3 years at least. And there will be a difference in the level of maturity between myself and them. The challenge is I have to adapt myself to a younger group mentally in order to blend in . The way they think, they do things and carry themselves will be very different than how I would want to be. Fun for them will be different for me. Yet crossing all this I have to find a way for myself to adapt into such culture. It has been a fantastic experience whereby it thought me that now I am someone who is capable to hangout with someone 5-6 years  younger to me and have a conversation of equals and also up myself and see myself as equal if I were to be in conversation with someone 10-15 years elder. It has gave me that flexibility today.

In conclusion what I wanted to express today that sometimes in life it is good your are denied something in life at that point because it was best for you on the long run. We should learn to be positive when we don't get something we want in life. Because positive thoughts attracts positive outcome. If you are denied something today, always believed you are on your path to something greatness. One of the best thing that has happened in my life was to be rejected by UTP at the age of 18 and to be accepted into UTP at the age of 21.

Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. 

Once again my deepest apologies if any part of my post today may have hurt you. Thank you for reading

Bringing Out The Director in Me

Movies has always been a big part of me since my early days. It has left a deep impact in my memories. I remember the very first movie I saw in cinema, it was Free Willy. One particular scene hit very hard into my memory that day. It was the end scene when Willy jumps above a pile of rocks with Jesse standing on it towards his freedom.

You have to give credit to the director for executing the scene perfectly. I'm sure there is a whole big team working behind making that scene a success, but to come with an idea of the scene to place it at such moment and to shot it to such perfection, you got to applaud the director. It is always a directors dream where certain scenes of a movie is remember fondly by his audience for a very long time and here that was achieved.

With years passing on, I realized I have became a movie buff and movie critic. This has to come down to the influence of having the best movie critic I ever know as my housemate. Navalan Bang was one of the best movie critics I knew and whenever I engaged into discussion with him, I realized I was able to analyse movies much better and the urge to director my very own movie kept growing stronger. I begun writing down a couple of my own plots and story line which I hope one day I would be able to make it into a motion picture.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard a question which was ask on the radio which goes like this "Given a chance, what movie will you remake and what will you change in the story while who will you put to act?" This question got me thinking curiously and the director in me begin emerging out once again. Below are 3 movies which I would love to remake it given a chance and what chances I would bring and who would act in it on current time, followed by one original story of mine which I would love to direct 

Remake Number 1: Mudalhavan

Story: Instead of remaking the movie I would choose to make a squeal to this movie. It will begin with Arjun who has been the Prime Minister over a long number of years. Initially he started by doing good for the people and the nation but over time being in power, the need to whole on to power and greed starting to get the best out of him. He begins to make decisions to safeguard his position and hold on to power. At the same time a young aspiring politician from Arjun's own party begins stepping up. He is good heart do-good kind of politicians who wants what is best for his people. He begins to grow a dislike towards Arjun's rule and tries to challenge for the party president post only to lose out on a landslide margin as Arjun has bribe everyone in the party. Frustrated, leaves the party and starts one of his own and eventually challenges Arjun in the General election and wins it. In the process it is shown how Arjun tries to use negative tactics to stop that person from winning. 

*Credits to Kugarubaan for the initial idea

Actors: Arjun as the Current Prime Minister while Surya (carrying the shades of Michael from Aaytha Ezhuthu) as the young aspiring politician.

This scene serves as an inspiration that the character is capable to play dirty to secure his position. Let it be for good or bad intentions

One of the best portrayal from a young actor as an aspiring young brave politicians

Remake Number 2: Lingaa

Story: One the reason why I choose this movie as it is still fresh in my mind. For me I would love to remake this movie based on one timeline only. The movie will fully focus on the time line of Raja Lingeswaran. I would start off the movie how at the begining the land only belongs to kings followed by how the British started coming in and claiming the land and how easily the kings were manipulated. This drove Raja Lingeswaran to become a collector. I would extend the screen time of him being a collector and show scenes of him putting effort to help the people while being denied by the British Government and the final  straw was about being denied to build the dam. From here it follows the story as how it was in the movie, about the efforts of building the dam and the challenges and accusation he faced before being drove out from the village. I would choose to end it with when the villages try to find Raja Lingeswaran, they got to know that he has already passed away , leaving the wife and a son behind. The villages brings them back and ask the son to reopen the temple while making them royal leaders of the village.

Portrayed to perfection as a well loved king  

Perhaps one of the best scenes in the movie

Nailed his style to perfection

Actors: Definitely Rajni by a million mile. Nailed the role to perfection, He just has far more style and class than any other actor. Would love the see the role potrayed by Sonakshi given to a different actress. She lacked the feminism and did not bring out enough facial emotion in her scenes. I would rather have Danshika of Aravaan fame in that role

Danshika would have portrayed the village girl role to much better realism.

Now finally coming to my very own plot which I would love to direct someday. Its concept requiring two lead actors and 2 female character who plays important roles in significant parts of the movie and followed by a supporting role who would have the interval/main twist revolving towards his actions.

Tittle: Yet to be decided

Story: The movies revolves around the lives of an honest cop and his goals of bringing down the city's top mafia leader. Mr.A would be the honest cop while Mr. B would be the mafia leader. Mr. A is a happily married cop with a daughter while Mr.B living the dangerous life has an open relationship with his childhood girlfriend. From the very beginning it shows the Mr. A is assigned by the city commissioner with the task of bringing Mr.B to justice and face the punishment for his crime. The first half of the movie will revolve around a cat and mouse chase between Mr.A and Mr.B as Mr.A tries hard to arrest Mr.B  but he somehow diligently escapes every time. It comes to the point where Mr. A suspects perhaps there is a traitor among the police force. At the same time the movie will potray scenes between the lead actors and their lady love on how it affects their decision making and all. It comes to a point in a secret ambush that Mr. A manages to arrest Mr.B but his legs are heavily wounded in the process of nabbing Mr.B. What happens next is that the city commissioner deems Mr.A no longer fit for the job as he has been heavily wounded on his legs and takes credit for himself in arresting Mr.B. A dejected Mr. A who feels crippled sees his wife and daughter leave him as they too sees him unworthy to be with. Here a rage and anger grows within Mr.A to get even with the police force which he once served so honestly. At the very same time, the police commissioner offers a deal to Mr.B that if he corporate with the cop, he will be given a lighter punishment. Persuaded by his girlfriend, Mr.B agrees and tips of the cops about the other mafia groups and members. Seeing the effectiveness of Mr.B, the police commissioner offers me a job in the police force. He eventually takes up the spot left by Mr.A which is to arrest the remaining mafia leaders. Mr.A who is on rage to get even with the cops, seeks refuge with the mafia members who he once tried to arrest. Seeing that he is former cop who is betrayed and the amount of valuable knowledge he has about the cops mentally and strategy, he eventually rises up to be the leader of the mafia's. From this point onwards the movies moves in the direction of a cat and mouse chase where by Mr.B, a cop who knows how a criminal thinks and tries to arrest Mr.A who is now a criminal but knows everything about a cop. How Mr.B tries to arrest Mr.A and what happens next form the climax of the movie

Actors: Madhavan as Mr.A

                 : Vikram as Mr B

                 : Nasser/Satyaraj as Police Commisioner

                 : Shirya Saran as Mr B's Lady love

                 : Amala Paul of Mr.A's Lady love

He seems like a perfect match for both role

 There are no words to explain his versatility

Has that wildcat look to pull of the role at the same time that soft loving side

Has the homely look while still being able to portray enough selfishness to walkaway from a problem

Thank you very much for your time reading this. I know I am no professional film maker or anywhere close to be criticizing any movies and wanting to make changes in it. You don't have to be a professional to do so because movies are made for the audience, and you as an audience feel the movie was not good you always have a right to voice it out or give your opinion in how you want it to be different. People might mock you for it, but never let that stop you. You are entitled to your rights as an audience Being a movie buff is a passion of mine and being able to analyse movie to details seems to be like a hobby to me.

Discovering Me ~ 20 Facts

Before I begin the journey of discovering 20 things about me, I would like to thank Thiban for nominating me to take up this interesting self discovering opportunity. I hope my post before has done enough to keep you interested to read this .

Now are you ready to begin the ride to find out 20 things about me!

* grabs popcorn*

*spoiler alert: You may have already known some of theses facts*

1) I have dedicated half of my life supporting ARSENAL and vow to spend the rest of life supporting them through thick and thin. I do realized the last few months my post on the post Arsenal game have reduced. I will be picking up on that soon enough

2) It would be a dream come true if one day I could direct my very own movie....Some might even know I have already prepared a couple of plot ready

Hint: Vikram and Madhavan could star in one day

3) I always prefer to be the man behind the scenes. I find joy in being the men inspiring you to your success. I am a firm believer that "Its easy for you to be successful, but the real challenge is to make someone else successful."

4) When I was kid, I always believed that the Moon was actually the reflection of the Earth. Use to believe the blue blue things on the Moon represents the seas

5) The most attractive thing on a girl for me is her smile *Million Dollar Smile*

6) What you think is what you get, this has been my life mantra let be good or bad

7) Three superpower of my choice would be the Wolverine's immortality, Magneto's metal field controlling ability and Professor X's mind power. Owh yeah I would be unstoppable

8) I used to be a last class student who was ranked last and now here I am doing my degree at a top level and coming up with innovation. Trust me when I say anybody can be successful. All you have to do is have some faith in your self and never ever let failure stop you from reaching to the stars.

9) Always felt I never had what it takes to be a blogger and write long interesting stuff. I am gonna make that change

10) I felt in love with a girl when I was 5, and now she turned out to be my better half. Sometimes kindie love can turn out to be a beautiful love story

11) One of my biggest dream is to be able to live in London for a couple of years, get an Arsenal season ticket and attend every single match home and away screaming at the top of my lungs

12) I like isolating myself and a large group of friends and just hang out with one or two people maybe.

13) No vacation is better than a beach side vacation. Got to thank my dad for cultivating this in me

14) Believe that everyone should be well versed with the art of manipulation. If you don't know how to manipulate people than trust me you gonna have a tough long life. Good or bad that's your call. 

15) I am a factual person so that puts me far off when it comes to religion. I believe more in power of the mind and will power rather than any other way of gaining belief

16) I have a long list of jobs I would like to work as

• Engineer
• Manager
• Business Owner
• Counselor
• Head of a NGO
• Politician
• Investor

And I have got the perfect plan to make all of this happen.

17) Two book's have changed my life forever: The Secret & Tough Time Never Last But Tough People Do! If you have time give it a read, might save your life too.

 

18) I realized that somehow even new people find it very easy to open up to me and share their worries.

19) I was once told that I am a failure and I will not be successful from an educator of high rank. I hope I am starting to prove you wrong

20) Give me an opportunity if I could meet anyone person dead or alive for a day, I would pick to see my dad without giving second thoughts.

I hope you enjoyed the ride of getting to me a little better than you already do. Thanks again Thiban for give me this chance to discover my self a little better. To those who read this blog to the end, I want you guys too to write a Facebook post or a blog post regarding 20 facts about yourself. You might be surprised  on how much you will learn about yourself when you start writing them down.

Thanks for the read and lets end the year with a bang!

Unlocking The Little Boy's Dream

      Pittsburgh! That has now became one of my calling name ever since being blessed with the opportunity to travel to the United States of America. It was no ordinary vacation but a life time dream coming through at what seem impossible at moment.

     Ever since being a kid, one thing that has always fascinated me was airplanes. I remember the time on how I use to run out to open space whenever I heard the sound of a plane flying over my house. In fact its a habit I still practice. I guess the idea of being able to fly freely at the top of the world brings joy to me. Yet after 24 years the only time I was being able to board a plane was a flight from Subang-Tioman Island- Subang. A total of 110 flying minutes. That was 110 minutes where I was having big wide smile. Yet it has never fully satisfied my passion to fly.

     As I tend to grow older, the idea of travelling around the world tend to grow along with me. One of the destination I have always wanted to visit was U.S.A. It was beyond my wildest dream that it was going to come through. This adventure started back in April this year where an a project of mine was selected to participate in an upcoming competition in U.S.A. I remember jumping in joy when I got the letter and thanking my guardian angel for making this happen. Never did I imagine that this will bring one of the toughest moment of year. As much it feels great to be selected for the competition, I totally ignored the fact I will need to raise the necessary funds.

   As the date of the competition came closer was where I realized I was no where close to having the necessary amount need to make 2 of my wildest dream come true-  Flying in a plane to U.S.A. When it comes to money, trust me it will never come easy. I may forget many things in life, but I will never forget the journey I had to face to raise the necessary  amount. I don't know if its by sheer luck or effort my situation started to viral around Facebook. At the beginning it kinda felt good gaining the publicity, but it was only a matter of time when this same publicity started to bring responsibility. The fact that I was hardly getting enough sleep because I had to go round and round and round to try to raise the necessary fund. Even if that meant coming home around 3 am after meeting with people. At a point I felt like quitting everything and going back to be a normal student and stay on low. Thanks to the support of my loved, it kept me going and that turned out to be one of the best thing that happened to me. From being a nobody to being interviewed, this has to be the greatest thing I have achieved in my life. Soon the funds were raised, the passport was ready and the visa is approved. All that is left is to book a flight and fly to achieve my dreams. Yet as they say nothing comes without difficulties. Many hurdles had to be faced just days before flying off even if that meant putting my future in question mark. Yet I took the leap and faith and grab the opportunity in front of me and flew to my dreams

    Soon enough there I was at Pittsburgh. After a 23 hours flight, I was there in the land where dreams come true. A 24 year old Malaysian, with a project which could change the world of smartphone travelling to U.S.A to showcase his project. I instantly fell in love with the place. It was just like how I dream off. The cold breeze, the friendly people and an opportunity to succeed. Here I am living the dream. I might travel to many places in the world as I grow, but this adventure will be one I will always cherish as it was filled with many challenges where a  normal would have quite but I did not. It was the achievement of the little boy's dream in me.

   I can now say,I, SUKESH PANDIAN, flew in an airplane to the amazing U.S.A

   It may not be the biggest achievement in mankind history, but it will always be my biggest personal achievement as it is a dream travelling back to the kid in me.